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20 February 2007 @ 03:20 pm
Well like the title says...it's been a really long time.

So much has changed, i don't even know where to start, i guess i'll just do it all point form.

1.Sarah and i are no longer friends
2.I no longer care for Chris in any form
3.i'm now in college
4.i've made a billion and one new friends
5.Still have no life lol
6.MCR came out with a new album in October...it's amazing
7.Addicted to Famous Last Words
8.Just got tickets to the conert in May
9.Moving out soon maybe
10.Changing schools in about a year and a half
11.Life is jst so much different...and there's so much more i could share lol

Yeah wow...this is so surreal. I totally forgot i had this. I was like reading back through my old blogs and burst out laughing at how stupid it all was lmao.

Oh man. Well...check out my myspace..it get updated a hell of a lot more than this does and will. http://www.myspace.com/rock_star86
Current Location: My Basement
Current Mood: coldit's freezing down here
Current Music: Famous Last Words-My Chemical Romance
25 June 2006 @ 03:21 pm
Ive come to a very imporant descision in my life. Ive decided in regards to the person i am in love with, i will be his friend and be happy with that. I can't ask for more and i don't think i need or really want more. Why sacrifice the great friendship we already have for something that could undoubtably be nothing. I don't want that. We are great friends, that's all it will ever be and for once, i am truly happy with that. ^_____^ Have a great day everyone!

p.s i am doing much better everyone.
Current Location: My Basement
Current Mood: ecstaticFeeling so much better!
Current Music: Gravity-Vienna Teng
25 June 2006 @ 02:34 pm
What Type Of Anime Character Are You?

You're A School Girl!You may not get the best grades, but you'll always be found sporting your sleek school uniform. You've got school spirit, and lots of it! Pocket PCs and Pocky can be found in your backpack, and you love cute stuffed animals like teddy bears and bunnies!
Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Current Location: My Basement
Current Mood: ecstaticFull of energy today!
Current Music: Amos Lee-Colors
24 June 2006 @ 11:01 am
So i've been pretty sick lately. I just got back from the doctors. I have an infection in my lungs, as well as the b-asthma and my throat is very raw. So ive got meds, though no atibiotics because i cant mix those with my meds, but she gave me a different inhaler that will fix my airways and the infetion. Problem is it wont start woking for 2-3 days, then it will take me about a week or so to get better again and until ive gotten a bit better, i am under house rest during the day. The air outside in the day is bad for me right now. I told her she might as well just check me in to the damn hospital with all the meds and rules shes layed down. She was considering it but i changed my mind and begged her not to. I have to sleep in a propped up/sitting position so my lungs can relax and i need to relax and not to do anything than will leave me out of breathe. Which is everything right now. Oh well, right?

So i'll be able to leave the house again and actually hang out before the end of next week. Which means i'lol be ok for Canada Day and before that Grad.

Well off i go for now, i'm going to lie down a bit, i havent slept much in the last week and i havent eaten much either so i get tired even easier. See everyone around.

Current Location: My Cold Basement
Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: Au café des délices-Karam Ayoub
18 June 2006 @ 08:37 pm
I love him, god do i love him. So much it hurts. I wish i didn't honestly. I have never been in love with someone. Liked them alot, yes. But never love.  He means the world to me. He treats me like a person and says the perfect things. no man has eer said such things or dones such things for me and he did it without any hestitation....god i love him....it isn't fair.
Current Location: My Cold Basement
Current Mood: coldBrrrrrr...
Current Music: Safe Place To Hide-Melissa O'Neil
Okay so here i am again. In that state of mind people have fondly name Dr.Maeg. The female counter part of Dr.Phil....almost. lol

I get too weird and very philisophical. So again, i'll get on with it.

Grad is soon. A little over a week to be exact. Alot of people are saying how such a non huge deal this is. It rubs me the wrong way personally because for me this is the hugest thing. To leave this school and the wonderful people i have shared this high school experience with is really hard for me. Not only that but Grad is the conclusion of all the huge amount of hard work, tears, sacrifces and frutrations ive had to deal with, that ALL of us have had to deal with. Forgetting the bad times is understandable, but to want to shove away the final goodbye and applause for all the hard work we've done doesnt make sense to me.

Watching shows as a kid and seeing seniors graduate always made me smile and dream about that being me and now it is! I have gone through so much. My past stills haunts me on those really bad days but moving here was the best decision i have ever made. I was having such a difficult time at first. My first year of high school in I,F was terrible, i failed and cried and i was slowly falling into the abiss known as the IF TeenSyndrom. Alot of them get it sadly.
A: you drop out of high school get a crappy job, get pregnant and live a pretty trashy life filled with drugs and booze
B:you graduate and follow the same path or
C. like a few of us you graduate and move on for a better life

I was heading down path A. Then i moved here and although started out rough I blossomed into the person i am now. I grew up, i smartened up and became who i was meant to be. I made wonderfull friends,both guys and girls. I got into volunteering, being out there and fun and happy.

Managing to escape the quiet, shy and outspoken, depressed Maegan was a challenge, to graduate on top of that with an 80 average, with anazing people and with a smile...that is an adventure that i would never wish to forget. I am soooo proud of myself for getting this far just as i am even more proud of each and every one of my wonderful friends for getting that far too. It's been hard, you wanted to give up somtimes but we made it guys, we made it!

I cried at Grad Mass (poor Dan lol)and blamed it on Sarah for her strarting it but to be honest i was so sad. The end is here and i am going to miss everyone so very much it hurts. I wondered how i was going to cope being on my own again and being without my friends and supportive teachers. I cried because i was afraid of the future and so afraid of being separated from evereyon i loved so much. But it wont be so bad, a few friends are joining me at Algonquin, and the others, we will keep in contact hopefully. I guess i like to be around my loved ones and people i trust. So many people have taken advantage of that and yet i never cared lol i dont like to be alone and that scares me most of all. Even on the bus in the morning i am glad for chris's company not only as my friend but as someone to be there and count on to make me feel alive and there. When i'm alone, thats the most scariest of times for me because it's when i remember my past and things that have scared me.

Anyways i guess ill shut up now. I mainly just want to say how proud i am of each and every one of my friends for doing so great and graduating. You all deserve so much and i hope you get everything you should in the future. Id be totally peeved if at the HS reunion i find out you are miserable and unfullfilled. I would do everything in my power to change that in an instant. So Sarah, Jess, Brandi, Carmen, Steph H, Sarah W, Steph F, Chris, Dan, Dayna and anyone else i have regrettably missed, Good luck and be happy, My greatest wish for you all is to be happy and succesfull in whatever you choose and to not forget to send me a little hello once you have gotten big and famous and to let me plan your wedding when the time comes ^__^ or any other event lol.

Love Always XOX,

Current Location: My Basement
Current Mood: touchedAll the best everyone!
Current Music: Out Of My Head-Mobile
05 June 2006 @ 09:50 pm
I've been dying inside you see. But you can have what's left of me.

Watch my life pass me by in the rearview mirror. These pictures frozen in time are becoming clearer and I don't wanna waste another day stuck in the shadow of my mistakes. I've been dying inside little by little. I have nowhere to go but goin' out of my mind in endless circles
,runnin' from myself until you gave me a reason for standing still.

Falling faster, i'm barely breathing. Give me somethin' to believe in and tell me it's not all in my head. I've been dying inside you see and i'm going out of my mind,I'm just runnin' in circles all the time. Will you take what's left of me? Just runnin' in circles IN MY MIND.Will you take what's left,will you? Take what's left of me.(Nick Lachey-What's Left of Me)

I'm sad. That's all you need to know. I'm tired of my mom not listening to me or respecting my feelings. Just once i'd like her to see....the real me. She'd cry if she could ever see....the true, raw and real me. I'm more than what I seem and only I will ever see that speciality flowing in my reality.

One day everyone will see what I am meant to be and they'll understnad just why i did what i did, needed what I needed and believed what I believed.

Until then. I will forevermore be Me.
Current Location: My Ice Cavern
Current Mood: sadWishing for what I need.
Current Music: James Blunt- You're Beautiful
29 May 2006 @ 10:21 pm
We’re searching for the reason of existence, with our own hands because maybe there is no reason for life. Everyone hopes and tries so hard to find a reason of existence. The reason of birth, of staying with someone, of existence…believing we have to find them all with our own hands. Like finding a place for ourselves in dreams, in jobs, in people…the reasons we conclude may be indefinite and fragile. We may lose it too, but even so, we want a reason. As long as I’m alive, I want it too.

Have a great day everyone...

Current Location: My Basement
Current Mood: weirdWelcome to my everyday way...
Current Music: If Only- Hanson (stfu i don't wanna hear it)
23 May 2006 @ 10:32 am
It's a pretty good day today so far. A bit chilly and cloudy outside but it's also fairly sunny as well. The warmth feels nice on my cold skin.

I only slept about 2 or 3 hours last night. It was hell. I was not feeling well and I just could not sleep. Well i supposed that happens sometimes. My room is getting pretty clean. I have alot of work to do yet but it's getting there, now I have to get rid of some clothes....I have way too many and no doubt i'll be buying more this summer now that i wear sleevless shirts and shorts.

Today is the buddy photographs, should be fun fun. tomorrow is the JagJog. I'm staying home, like alot of people ^___^ lol Thursday is the Grad Retreat and Friday....is a reguarl day. X(

Next Friday is Prom...yay!

Ummm....what else. Oh yeah The long weekend, when i wasn't cleaning my room i was watching the entire Azumanga Daioh series! Yay for YouTube!! I loved it sooo much! Necoconeco!!Kawaii! I am going to save up so i can buy the box set at the Comic Book Shoppe. They have it there for 60$ i think they said in their email. Oh well,i'll have to go back and check. I also want the Fruits Basket Box Set for 75$(more episodes the AD so costs moreX_x).

I'm really enjoying the Sailor Stars episodes that i'm getting from AnimeNuke. I love the StarLights...too cool! their theme song is wicked and Seiya is too awesome. Yaten is super cool, i like the way they had his character thinking, his personality is funny. Taiki cracks me up, he's too serious. They are too cool. Canada sucks for not airing the Sailor Stars episodes. Nya nya nya, stupid Dub and their sensorship. So what if Yaten, Seiya and Taiki turn into women when they transform. To be honest they are really women disguised as men anyways....stupid Dub sensorship. They show much worse on that station than gender morphing. Bakas.

Anyways I best be off! Ja ne!

p.s i went picture happy.....big time. 2 are of me though!

Current Location: Librarians Office
Current Mood: cheerful...a bit tired too though....
Current Music: Sailor Stars Theme(it rocks)
16 May 2006 @ 10:32 am
I'm sad today. I haven't quite figured out why I am sad but I am. It has to do with alot of different things I guess.

I paid Jess for the limo today...finally! That is about the only thing that made me happy.

I'm just really down today. Photoclub is after school today, hopefully i'll get something done and maybe it will cheer me up a bit. I hate being sad.

I just kind of want to be by myself, do nothing and sulk.More or less I need time to think about why I am so had, deal with the source and cheer up. Could be nerves about the upcoming Prom/Grad, could be family issues, could be alot of things... i'll figure it out and that will be that.

I think I'll go eat outside today by myself. Read a book and just chill, unless it raining, in the case i'll go eat by 'my' locker. It's quiet there.

Well off I go.

Bye Bye,

Current Location: Librarians Office
Current Mood: depressed-sigh-
Current Music: Hanson- Save Me